Backseat driver

Every day when Ian and I go back and forth to his daycare, we either just listen to music (mornings are usually quieter) or he has a running commentary on the sun ("Where is the sun? The sun is hiding in the trees."), the moon ("Where is the moon?" The moon is sleeping."), the color of the sky, the trees, the color of the leaves, cars, water fountains (there's one on the golf course near his school), construction vehicles, etc., in both English and Chinese, depending on his mood. Sometimes he demands more milk and I tell him there isn't any in the car and he has to wait until we get home. So now he knows and when he finishes his milk, he'll sometimes say, "Che1 zi shang4 mei2 you3 nai-nai. Zai4 jia1 li3 you3 nai-nai." ("There's no milk in the car. There's milk at home.") Other times, he'll ask for a banana or something and I'll say that I'll give it to him when I stop the car and that Mommy can't do it yet because she's driving and she might crash. So sometimes now out of the blue he'll say, "Don't crash, Mommy!"

Jeff was driving my car over the weekend when we went to run errands and all of a sudden Ian says, "Don't put your hand on your pants!" I didn't understand where that came from and looked around. Jeff had started laughing because he realized what it was. I look over and Jeff had taken one hand off the steering wheel and put it on his leg. "Don't put your hand on your pants, Daddy!" So Jeff put his hand back on the wheel. "Yah, TWO hands, Daddy." I swear, I never said anything to Ian about that, so I don't know where he got it from (but I always have two hands on the wheel).

And yesterday, after I put him in the car at school, I called Jeff to let him know we were on our way home and as I'm dialing, Ian is yelling, "DRIVE! DRIVE! DRIVE!" from the back seat. On the way home, there was a bit of traffic, but we could see a police truck with flashing lights ahead. Ian spotted it, of course, and said, "Yao4 bu2 yao4 qu4 kan4 jin3 cha2 che1?" ("Want to go see the police car?") But we were stuck in traffic, so I told him we couldn't until the cars in front of us moved. "No, go, Mommy!" I said if I went, we would crash and did Ian want Mommy to crash? "Yah! HA HA HA HA! CRASH!"